Steaming Bowl of Crazy

Normally I like to think of myself as a pretty rational, level-headed person.

However every once in a while Volcano Caitlin erupts and spews molten dork everywhere; awkwarding up everything in its path.

Usually these incidents are directly proportional to my lack of sleep and amount of coffee used to supplement lost sleep. So then before I even know that I've opened my mouth, some innocent bystander is shouldering this hot mess. Staring blankly at me while I excitedly and wildly ramble on and on about something even I know is not interesting. These rants are never pretty and involve me making twisted, twitchy faces, giggling to myself, and saying things like: "I'm all like blargh!" "Grrr!", "Blast!", "Eee-gads!" and so forth.

Meanwhile, this person (usually a fellow student, terrified and trapped in their desk by the fact that class starts in two minutes) has come to the startling realization that it is not a mild-mannered library student seated next to them, but in actuality, the Mad Hatter.

"Ha HA! Tricked ya!" thinks I, with a slight, caffeinated eyelid twitch.

In moments like these, my self-confident, well-adjusted side (yes, I actually do have one of those) wants to believe that all that is happening here is just a matter of me being able to think really fast and I am just ten steps ahead of these goons and that they are simply stunned speechless by my wit, charm, and charisma. In actuality, I am sure they are calculating how fast they can get to the nearest exit. And I can't blame them because in my head I am fervently telling them "run! Run! I gots no off switch!"

But fear not, gentle citizens. My sweet boyfriend and very patient roommates sacrifice any sense of normalcy in their lives by letting me in and therefore seem to absorb most of my batty tendencies which placates my awkwardness making it not free to go all Godzilla on unsuspecting victims.

...most of the time.   

And yes I did consult my thesaurus for all the synonyms of crazy before writing this post. Wouldn't want you all getting bored. 

Until next time...watch out who you sit down next to. It might be me!

For My Next Trick...

...I try my hand at baking.

Yesterday brought a snap to the air and that special dappled, amber sunshine that is unique to autumn. The crispy, crunchy (stole that phrase from the coffee shop around the corner) day inspired me to bake chocolate chip pumpkin bread which I do every fall (ok only for like two years).

Now. It seems to be a growing trend amongst blogsters to photograph and document every step in a recipe. I am not that talented with photography (as exhibited below) nor do I have the patience when it comes to chocolate chip pumpkin bread. Also, I don't make my own recipes. However, I did take a picture of the finale as well as attempt a fall still life. I think I should stick to baking.

Anyway. If you want to make it. here is the recipe I use.

Caveats:

• I don't use the whole wheat flour (who wants to make things healthier anyway? Come on.). I just do three cups of regular flour.
• This recipe makes muffins, which are delicious. I did not have muffin tins in my apartment so I substituted and made two 9x5 bread loafs. If you choose to do this, just leave them in for longer. I would say...until they look done. Ha! 

et voila! Zi finished product!

My (lousy) attempt at a still life. I apologize for making your eyes burn. 

 Happy autumn! And happy eating! Love, Caitlin

P.S. the book leaning against the sunflowers is This Book is Overdue! How Librarians and Cybrarians Can Save Us All by Marilyn Johnson.

You know, in case you were curious.

I'm back!!

Hello darling readers!

I took a break over the summer (and then some) to spend time with family, be a social, urbanite with friends, and canoodle with le boyfriend! And let me tell you, it was so therapeutic!

Here is a quick update:
-I am living in a quaint little suburb of Boston in a very cozy apartment. It is super close to school and even closer to my work as well as the libraries in my life. The neighborhood is so great. Grocery store is a 7 minute walk, Trader Joe's is a 10 min walk, there's a new church I have been going to that is a 9 minute walk. Plus, there is an AMAZING diner down the street that serves breakfast all day long and has chocolate chip pancakes that I would sell a kidney for.
-I am living with two beautiful, patient, and very understanding roommates (you would have to be to live with me). They are a blast to live with! Good times.
-I began my second and final year in graduate school. EEEK! Simultaneously terrified for the real world and excited to be done with forum discussions and papers.

...and that about covers the big stuff, I suppose.

I am taking a Young Adult Literature class, which I will probably be talking about quite a bit. I am really enjoying it. The reading is outstanding. Outstanding meaning boat-load in this scenario.But I love it. I wish it was the only class I was taking so I could give more time to it. To give you a taste, here is my reading list for the next couple of weeks:

And in list form (starting from the top):

• Big Mouth, Ugly Girl by Joyce Carol Oates
• Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater
• Feed by M.T. Anderson
• The Silver Kiss by Annette Curtis Klause
• City of Orphans by Avi
• The Tea Rose by Jennifer Donnelly
• The Arrival by Shaun Tan

And that's not even all of it. That is just for next coming 2 or 3 weeks. I am so conflicted by it. In some respects, I am stoked to read these new books, but I have no idea when I will fit it all in (and no, sometimes I don't. Shhh!).

Well instead of blathering about it, I guess I should maybe actually work on chipping away at this mountain.

End of the Year

Welp, I finished my first year of graduate school! And I think I even managed to do it with a 4.0! It was touch and go this semester, however. Thank you to all who listened to me whine and cry over apparently nothing. It didn't feel like nothing at the time, and I appreciate your patience with me.

Now I am packing up to head home. It should be pretty straightforward and easy. You would think. But nothing is ever straightforward and easy in my mind. I am utilizing a storage company for the first time in my life. And maybe its because its a new experience, maybe its because I'm intellectually and emotionally taxed and exhausted, maybe its because I've somehow trained my mind to be in a constant state of this:

  



Or maybe it is a combination of everything. But the next thing I know I am crying over hangers. Hangers. Because I cannot fit them into any boxes. What is wrong with me? Don't answer that!

I think I may just toss them and try to see it as a liberating experience: I am the master of my domain! I just finished my first year of grad school. I can make decisions! I can do anything! I can throw out hangers if I want! At least, that is what I am trying to do. 

Home soon. Can't wait.  



Come on, spring!

In a bout of Seasonal Affective Disorder-ness, I splurged four dollars and ninety-nine cents at Trader Joe's to buy this cheerful little guy. I am MAKING it be spring, dang-it! It proved to be the harbinger of change that I needed in my life at this point. It seemed that immediately after purchase, things I was stressed out about started to resolve themselves. Maybe a change in attitude helped, too. Hopefully a change in weather is not far behind (notice the snowy/mizzly weather outside the window). However, I tend to have a black thumb, so any advice on Daffodils (Narcissus?) is greatly appreciated. For instance, what do I do about those little droopers? I am very committed to keeping this one alive.

Go away, winter!   

My library sensei

My advisor here at school also happens to be my favorite teacher. Possibly ever. I also have an enormous girl-crush on her. I remember she spoke at my orientation day and somehow, magically, linked library and information science to a quest for a late night donut shop. I was so elated when I checked my schedule for that day and saw that the stars had aligned and she had been assigned as my advisor for my tenure at grad school. For once, luck was on my side. In my meeting with her, all I could do was stare at her with a goofy, lopsided grin. I was so in awe, I didn't want to talk for fear that I might somehow disappoint.

Advisor: Does that sound ok? Caitlin...Caitlin?
Me: *stare creepily*
Advisor: ooook....I was saying there is one spot open in the class I am teaching this semester. Does that sound like it might be a fit for you?

I think I may have wet myself at that point, I don't really remember.

I called my mother immediately: "GUESS WHAT?!MYADVISORHEREISSOSOGREAT!SHE'SAWESOME! SHE'S SO FUNNY! SHE LOVES THE SAME THINGS I DO. WE LIKE THE SAME BOOKS! AND SHE WAS A CHILDREN'S LIBRARIAN! JUST LIKE I WANT TO BE! EXCEPT SHE'S A HIP LIBRARIAN. JUST LIKE I WANT TO BE! SHE HAS SUPER CUTE CLOTHES. AND I'M GOING TO GET MY HAIR CUT LIKE HER. AND WE'RE GOING TO BE BEST FRIENDS!!!...

It went on like that for a while. I didn't even take a breath.

She teaches many of the children's librarian classes that I take, so I've had her as a teacher twice now. She is so passionate about what she teaches. She is the first teacher in a while, that I want to do well in her class, not just so I have a good letter grade, but because I genuinely want to master the material. She seems to know an abundent amound about children's books and programs.

And I want to be just like her when I grow up. 

Except be me. I have to say how refreshing it is to finally have someone to look up to in my career path. In teaching, save for maybe one or two exceptions, I met more people who made me say "I will not be like that when I grow up." To have someone now that I want to emulate in many ways is further proof that I am where I am supposed to be right now. I am so happy to be excited about my future. It looked so bleak for a while. Now, if we can just get the economy in shape so that I can flex my muscles when I graduate.  

Weather

It's raining this morning in Boston. It's predicted to rain all day.

I actually love the rain, but only when I have nothing to do and I can just curl up with a book, watch the rain, and listen to NPR or ColdPlay (my two choice rain soundtracks). When I have things on my plate, however, the rain makes me anxious and restless, like there is a big deadline hanging over my head or that feeling you get while preparing for an interview. On these strange rain days, there never seems to be enough hours in the day.

However, even after all this, I will still take rain any day over snow. Which is why I about threw my computer through the wall when I saw the forecast for Boston. You can see for yourself:

Double ARGH!!!! Where is spring?! Where is it? WHERE?!!!