Steaming Bowl of Crazy

Normally I like to think of myself as a pretty rational, level-headed person.

However every once in a while Volcano Caitlin erupts and spews molten dork everywhere; awkwarding up everything in its path.

Usually these incidents are directly proportional to my lack of sleep and amount of coffee used to supplement lost sleep. So then before I even know that I've opened my mouth, some innocent bystander is shouldering this hot mess. Staring blankly at me while I excitedly and wildly ramble on and on about something even I know is not interesting. These rants are never pretty and involve me making twisted, twitchy faces, giggling to myself, and saying things like: "I'm all like blargh!" "Grrr!", "Blast!", "Eee-gads!" and so forth.

Meanwhile, this person (usually a fellow student, terrified and trapped in their desk by the fact that class starts in two minutes) has come to the startling realization that it is not a mild-mannered library student seated next to them, but in actuality, the Mad Hatter.

"Ha HA! Tricked ya!" thinks I, with a slight, caffeinated eyelid twitch.

In moments like these, my self-confident, well-adjusted side (yes, I actually do have one of those) wants to believe that all that is happening here is just a matter of me being able to think really fast and I am just ten steps ahead of these goons and that they are simply stunned speechless by my wit, charm, and charisma. In actuality, I am sure they are calculating how fast they can get to the nearest exit. And I can't blame them because in my head I am fervently telling them "run! Run! I gots no off switch!"

But fear not, gentle citizens. My sweet boyfriend and very patient roommates sacrifice any sense of normalcy in their lives by letting me in and therefore seem to absorb most of my batty tendencies which placates my awkwardness making it not free to go all Godzilla on unsuspecting victims.

...most of the time.   

And yes I did consult my thesaurus for all the synonyms of crazy before writing this post. Wouldn't want you all getting bored. 

Until next time...watch out who you sit down next to. It might be me!

For My Next Trick...

...I try my hand at baking.

Yesterday brought a snap to the air and that special dappled, amber sunshine that is unique to autumn. The crispy, crunchy (stole that phrase from the coffee shop around the corner) day inspired me to bake chocolate chip pumpkin bread which I do every fall (ok only for like two years).

Now. It seems to be a growing trend amongst blogsters to photograph and document every step in a recipe. I am not that talented with photography (as exhibited below) nor do I have the patience when it comes to chocolate chip pumpkin bread. Also, I don't make my own recipes. However, I did take a picture of the finale as well as attempt a fall still life. I think I should stick to baking.

Anyway. If you want to make it. here is the recipe I use.

Caveats:

• I don't use the whole wheat flour (who wants to make things healthier anyway? Come on.). I just do three cups of regular flour.
• This recipe makes muffins, which are delicious. I did not have muffin tins in my apartment so I substituted and made two 9x5 bread loafs. If you choose to do this, just leave them in for longer. I would say...until they look done. Ha! 

et voila! Zi finished product!

My (lousy) attempt at a still life. I apologize for making your eyes burn. 

 Happy autumn! And happy eating! Love, Caitlin

P.S. the book leaning against the sunflowers is This Book is Overdue! How Librarians and Cybrarians Can Save Us All by Marilyn Johnson.

You know, in case you were curious.

I'm back!!

Hello darling readers!

I took a break over the summer (and then some) to spend time with family, be a social, urbanite with friends, and canoodle with le boyfriend! And let me tell you, it was so therapeutic!

Here is a quick update:
-I am living in a quaint little suburb of Boston in a very cozy apartment. It is super close to school and even closer to my work as well as the libraries in my life. The neighborhood is so great. Grocery store is a 7 minute walk, Trader Joe's is a 10 min walk, there's a new church I have been going to that is a 9 minute walk. Plus, there is an AMAZING diner down the street that serves breakfast all day long and has chocolate chip pancakes that I would sell a kidney for.
-I am living with two beautiful, patient, and very understanding roommates (you would have to be to live with me). They are a blast to live with! Good times.
-I began my second and final year in graduate school. EEEK! Simultaneously terrified for the real world and excited to be done with forum discussions and papers.

...and that about covers the big stuff, I suppose.

I am taking a Young Adult Literature class, which I will probably be talking about quite a bit. I am really enjoying it. The reading is outstanding. Outstanding meaning boat-load in this scenario.But I love it. I wish it was the only class I was taking so I could give more time to it. To give you a taste, here is my reading list for the next couple of weeks:

And in list form (starting from the top):

• Big Mouth, Ugly Girl by Joyce Carol Oates
• Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater
• Feed by M.T. Anderson
• The Silver Kiss by Annette Curtis Klause
• City of Orphans by Avi
• The Tea Rose by Jennifer Donnelly
• The Arrival by Shaun Tan

And that's not even all of it. That is just for next coming 2 or 3 weeks. I am so conflicted by it. In some respects, I am stoked to read these new books, but I have no idea when I will fit it all in (and no, sometimes I don't. Shhh!).

Well instead of blathering about it, I guess I should maybe actually work on chipping away at this mountain.

End of the Year

Welp, I finished my first year of graduate school! And I think I even managed to do it with a 4.0! It was touch and go this semester, however. Thank you to all who listened to me whine and cry over apparently nothing. It didn't feel like nothing at the time, and I appreciate your patience with me.

Now I am packing up to head home. It should be pretty straightforward and easy. You would think. But nothing is ever straightforward and easy in my mind. I am utilizing a storage company for the first time in my life. And maybe its because its a new experience, maybe its because I'm intellectually and emotionally taxed and exhausted, maybe its because I've somehow trained my mind to be in a constant state of this:

  



Or maybe it is a combination of everything. But the next thing I know I am crying over hangers. Hangers. Because I cannot fit them into any boxes. What is wrong with me? Don't answer that!

I think I may just toss them and try to see it as a liberating experience: I am the master of my domain! I just finished my first year of grad school. I can make decisions! I can do anything! I can throw out hangers if I want! At least, that is what I am trying to do. 

Home soon. Can't wait.  



Come on, spring!

In a bout of Seasonal Affective Disorder-ness, I splurged four dollars and ninety-nine cents at Trader Joe's to buy this cheerful little guy. I am MAKING it be spring, dang-it! It proved to be the harbinger of change that I needed in my life at this point. It seemed that immediately after purchase, things I was stressed out about started to resolve themselves. Maybe a change in attitude helped, too. Hopefully a change in weather is not far behind (notice the snowy/mizzly weather outside the window). However, I tend to have a black thumb, so any advice on Daffodils (Narcissus?) is greatly appreciated. For instance, what do I do about those little droopers? I am very committed to keeping this one alive.

Go away, winter!   

My library sensei

My advisor here at school also happens to be my favorite teacher. Possibly ever. I also have an enormous girl-crush on her. I remember she spoke at my orientation day and somehow, magically, linked library and information science to a quest for a late night donut shop. I was so elated when I checked my schedule for that day and saw that the stars had aligned and she had been assigned as my advisor for my tenure at grad school. For once, luck was on my side. In my meeting with her, all I could do was stare at her with a goofy, lopsided grin. I was so in awe, I didn't want to talk for fear that I might somehow disappoint.

Advisor: Does that sound ok? Caitlin...Caitlin?
Me: *stare creepily*
Advisor: ooook....I was saying there is one spot open in the class I am teaching this semester. Does that sound like it might be a fit for you?

I think I may have wet myself at that point, I don't really remember.

I called my mother immediately: "GUESS WHAT?!MYADVISORHEREISSOSOGREAT!SHE'SAWESOME! SHE'S SO FUNNY! SHE LOVES THE SAME THINGS I DO. WE LIKE THE SAME BOOKS! AND SHE WAS A CHILDREN'S LIBRARIAN! JUST LIKE I WANT TO BE! EXCEPT SHE'S A HIP LIBRARIAN. JUST LIKE I WANT TO BE! SHE HAS SUPER CUTE CLOTHES. AND I'M GOING TO GET MY HAIR CUT LIKE HER. AND WE'RE GOING TO BE BEST FRIENDS!!!...

It went on like that for a while. I didn't even take a breath.

She teaches many of the children's librarian classes that I take, so I've had her as a teacher twice now. She is so passionate about what she teaches. She is the first teacher in a while, that I want to do well in her class, not just so I have a good letter grade, but because I genuinely want to master the material. She seems to know an abundent amound about children's books and programs.

And I want to be just like her when I grow up. 

Except be me. I have to say how refreshing it is to finally have someone to look up to in my career path. In teaching, save for maybe one or two exceptions, I met more people who made me say "I will not be like that when I grow up." To have someone now that I want to emulate in many ways is further proof that I am where I am supposed to be right now. I am so happy to be excited about my future. It looked so bleak for a while. Now, if we can just get the economy in shape so that I can flex my muscles when I graduate.  

Weather

It's raining this morning in Boston. It's predicted to rain all day.

I actually love the rain, but only when I have nothing to do and I can just curl up with a book, watch the rain, and listen to NPR or ColdPlay (my two choice rain soundtracks). When I have things on my plate, however, the rain makes me anxious and restless, like there is a big deadline hanging over my head or that feeling you get while preparing for an interview. On these strange rain days, there never seems to be enough hours in the day.

However, even after all this, I will still take rain any day over snow. Which is why I about threw my computer through the wall when I saw the forecast for Boston. You can see for yourself:

Double ARGH!!!! Where is spring?! Where is it? WHERE?!!!

Sorry for the absence lately. Haven't had much to report. I've been working on homework and its frickin' freezing outside, Mr Bigglesworth! Granted, there have not been many adventures lately save for a few Trader Joe's trips to get the essentials (Two Buck Chuck, candy bars, Trader Joe brand Cheerios). I did feel the need to post some sort of blog. Sorry it's not much.

5 Momentary Favorite Things:

1. Earl Grey tea
2. Hazelnut coffee from the dining hall. Terrible stuff, but its free and therefore the best coffee I've ever had.
3. Reignited love with a favorite childhood book: Ella Enchanted. Cinderella retold with a twist and a kick-ass heroine. Love, love, love it!
4. my Christopher Elbow chocolates that arrived from the parents for Valentine's Day. Almost too pretty to eat. Almost.
5. Hipster nonsense- I love those tight-jeans-wearing, old-school-sneaker-kicking, irony-loving neo-beatniks. I am torn between wanting to make fun of them and wanting to be one equally badly, but I feel that my dichotomous emotions towards hipsters are worthy of their own blog post.

Until then, Lovies!

Timeline of a Meltdown

6:30 pm: After many attempts on paper in the past week, head to library in last-ditch desperation act. 

6:45 pm: Arrive at library.

6:50: check emails, facebook, Twitter, blogs, sales at Gap.com

7:30: open blank Word document.

7:31: stare at blank Word document.

8:30: bang out 2 whole paragraphs containing utter crap. Realization begins to sink in: have nothing else to say! don't know what teacher wants! not even sure what the assignment is asking! ...nope, definitely don't understand the assignment! entire paper (all two paragraphs) is complete rubbish.

8:42: Delete two paragraphs. Check emails, facebook, and twitter again.

Stare at blank Word document.

9:30: Cry silently. Heart pounds. Breathing starts to get shallow. Nervous looks from nearby study groups.

9:51: Go home. Sob to whoever picks up their phone.

10:30: Reread class syllabus 5 times in hopes that intro, body, and conclusion are magically written there.

11:00 Google it?? Go back to staring at blank Word document.

Pray. Hard.

Cry some more.

3:00 a.m.: Paper completed. Eyes red. Mad scientist hair. Crawl into bed without even brushing teeth.

This and That

Believe it or not, I do really value this blog. I understand it requires a lot of attention and love to grow (similar to me).

Aye, therein lies the rub.

I have every intention of frequently writing in here, but, honestly, I am at a loss as to what part of my day-to-day activities would be the least boring to include.

Whilst I think on that. Here are some pictures that are loooong overdue.


Ice Skating at the Frog Pond!!

Le Frog Pond in ze Boston Common

Some skater people

Sk8r Boi.
Pink Pants with skull and crossbones print.
On a middle-aged gentleman.
Classic.



Tara Lipinski and Krisi Yamaguchi...and Hannah




We were the commentators on the Frog Pond Olympics...and boy was there a lot to comment on. Twirly Boy and Pink Pants were the forerunners.  




A well deserved snack after watching other people skate hard.

K-STATE GAME!!!




  

K-Staters (and Hannah and Bart). It was like being home!





Lose a glove?

 It's probably one with the Porter Square escalator.





Top 5 Longest Days Ever

Today did not start off on a good foot.

It all began last night. I must have stayed up too late watching my current guilty pleasure:  "Say Yes to the Dress." In my taffeta and crenoline induced delirium, I accidentally set my alarm for the time I should be leaving instead of waking up. I bolted upright at 8:45 (5 mins before my alarm was scheduled to go off) and began tearing around my room like my pants were on fire. I didn't really wake up until 11, and that was only because my teacher brought chocolate chip cookies for snack (bless her soul).

I wanted to take a nap all day, but circumstances required me running some errands in the afternoon. So for the third time in three days, I put on my "walking around the frozen tundra of Boston" clothes which consist of two shirt layers, a sweatshirt, tights, jeans, two layers of socks, my blessed snow boots, my puffy coat, bulky scarf, mittens, and itchy hat. My arms stick out so much I block the sidewalk, and I waddle everywhere, but it seems to do the trick.

I am going to invent snow boots/rain galoshes that double as ice skates, and I will make millions because right now the sidewalks of Boston are solid sheets of ice which end in legitimate lakes at each intersection. I only got my socks wet twice. I don't blame my boots; they couldn't have foreseen conditions like these.

I wish I could tell you, dear friends, that this story ends with me sipping hot tea watching some mom and daughter duo from North Carolina hash it out over the sluttiness of a sweetheart neckline on Say Yes to the Dress. But it doesn't. It only ends with me and a mug of milk, crunching on stale pita chips, highlighting an article about outreach services. But really, it could be worse, it could. As much as I was grumbling to myself like a cranky old man today during all my endeavors, it wasn't such a bad day. I still love the city of Boston and any opportunity I am given to get to know it better is always a blessing.

Plus, crisp sheets and a cool pillow are that much sweeter at the end of a long, somewhat crummy day.    

Subway Classroom

Getting on the red line at Park Street and heading outbound (north) is, by far, one of my favorite things to do in Boston. This is not for the leisurely, Saturday afternoon people-watchers. Alewife-directed redliners are a mosaic of humanity. Characters range anywhere from popped-collar-Polo Harvard students with the whole world at their feet to people who carry their world in multiple plastic bags (heartbreakingly, sometimes plastic bags are their world).

At each stop, increasingly more interesting people get on. I've over-heard conversations where I swear I was dumber by the time I got off the train. On that same ride, I also picked up what the next "it" book would be. This occurred when one woman got off reading said book and another woman took her spot reading the same book. The many contrasts I see between people just on that line alone fascinate me. People get on in Southie and get off in Cambridge. Just in one train ride, passengers travel the equivalent of Wyandotte to Blue Valley.

"Where are they going?" I silently ask myself as a majority of them file out at the Harvard Square stop. I think this is what I have found most rewarding about my time in a big city; the bustle of a million different people going a million different directions, and I try to figure out their story. I wish I had the eloquence to write how much I have learned just from riding the subway in Boston.



...Hope the lesson is worth paying off loans the rest of my life.    

Kansas' Birthday

Kansas turns 150 today!!!

Dear K-State Men's Basketball Team,

In honor of Kansas' 150th Birthday, a win against the Jayhawks (BOO!!!) would be fantastic! Please and Thank you.

Your friend, 

Caitlin

A Couple of Snowy Explorers

 Hannah and I went on a walk-about today to survey our snowy territory.



snow piled high



This is a park close to where I live. It is beautiful in all seasons.



Here's Hannah Pants.




Nothing like a refreshing dip on a January afternoon.



They don't give you much room to work with.



Up to my knees! My feet were still on top of several inches of snow




Pretty!




Someone was able to cross-country ski.




Good thing we wore our boots!



Neat-o trees.



I...don't even know.




Hope this guy doesn't need to go anywhere until April.  



Uphill Battle

What a struggle today was. And the exasperating thing is I don't really know why. Actually that is a lie. For some reason, I am required to have the next two years of my life figured out because my financial aid application must be turned in by February 1. Why has my mood and the quality of my life for the past two days been determined by a double sided piece of paper with 27 fill-in-the-blanks? I'll tell you why, because not only are there a dozen questions to ask my financial aid counselor (who is quite the Suzy Sunshine, let me tell you), but I also must make a pest of myself to my advisor (with whom I am additionally taking a class this semester, so I'm sure she looooves seeing me every Monday), and the good people over at Residence Life. All because I have to know by February 1 whether I will be in Boston over the summer. Argh. And people wonder (myself included) why I am so high strung all the time. Believe me, I would love to be one of those people that takes life a day at a time, but deadlines and a long genetic line of women worriers prevents me from being the care-free being I dream of becoming someday. How do those people do it? Don't they have FAFSA deadlines or money to worry about or something? Those people that fall into jobs, or relationships, or money so easily and you're talking to them at a party and you just want to punch them in the nose.

Whoa. I seem to have Hulked out a bit there.

And I do realize that if I were a good person I would put things in perspective here and realize that I have it pretty good compared to a lot of people, but damn sometimes it feels good to complain for a little bit.

Speaking of complaining. It has been brought to my attention that I neglected some very important family members of mine in my last post. Carol, Scott, and Grandmother's pie, I am very sorry and you all are some of my favorite lovies ever (in addition to the rest of the family)!

In honor of the State of the Union Address, I thought this was somewhat interesting: http://www.npr.org/2011/01/25/133212080/a-users-guide-to-the-politics-of-applause

Also, I got this off my friend Kyle's facebook. Hilarious, but also a little sad:
http://pleated-jeans.com/2011/01/24/the-united-states-of-shame-chart/

Five Things I Love Right Now

1. Breakfast at Tiffany's
I'm watching it right now for the bazillionith time. I will never get sick of this movie.

I'm also reading Sam Wasson's Fifth Avenue, 5 A.M. (thank you, Heather).It is all about the making of the movie. Pretty interesting.

...sigh... I just adore Audrey!

2. They finally got chocolate milk at Bartol (the dining hall here)!!

So, yes, God does answer prayers. And boy did I ask... A LOT.

3. Le Boyfriend.

Yes, cliche and cheesy. Sorry if you're throwing up now. But take heart in the matter that he was mentioned AFTER Audrey and chocolate milk. He knows where he stands.

4. Other people's blogs- At first I loved reading them for inspiration and motivation. This is how it went: "this blog is awesome! When I make mine, it will be just like this, only cooler! Now, that I have begun my own, I fear that I have blog envy. Now it goes like this: "recipes? I can't compete with that!" or "She has how many  followers?" 

5. Being back in Boston. God bless it, and its $10 beers. 

Aaaaand a bonus one:

6. http://ameliabloomer.wordpress.com/

It would be my dream to work for that project.

Now, I am off to eat a cookie. Probably more than one.

My First Post

Welcome to my blog!

I have been wanting to start a blog for a while now, but was waiting for a clever name. Thanks to my friends Hannah and Sarah, I now have one. Kansas (the wheat) comes to Boston (Beantown).

I will keep this first entry short.

This will be about my adventures while I am working on my MLS in Boston. In addition, expect many nerdy ramblings and laments on the way of the world (a la cranky, elderly citizen).

Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I will enjoy writing it.