I fell head over heels in love this summer. A love that many are not fortunate enough to experience in a lifetime. It lasted just a few short months, but it was a summer love worthy of literature and cinema and song and it was ...perfect.
But.
But then the beautiful, sultry summer ended. The long Indian Summers that New England is so famous for settled in and my great love went on an adventure to Germany.
So.
So now I find myself for the first time in a long time alone on a Friday night. No summer love, no roommates even.
So what do I do?
Pour myself a glass of red wine. Stick some brownies in the oven. Put on my Ella Fitzgerald Pandora station. And cook - for the first time in my 27 glorious years - a steak. And it was the best steak I have eaten. Ever. Because I made it. By myself.
As I cooked, I realized how much I was enjoying my evening alone, and two very appropriate quotes popped into my head:
1. "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with" - Stephen Stills
2. "To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance" - Oscar Wilde
From time to time my mother will find me in a cocoon of solace; reading a book, sitting on the porch, or doing a crossword. She will stop and remind me how much my beloved grandma used to also enjoy peaceful time to just be. It's a genetic trait we share and one that I treasure.
It's always a great and wonderful feeling to be surrounded by loved ones, but sometimes the most fantastic thing in the world is doing exactly what you want to do, following your own schedule, enjoying the quiet and your thoughts; cooking a steak because YOU want a steak and you can cook it exactly the way YOU want.
And sometimes that's the best kind of love.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
My Passionate Relationship with Free Time
Well. It has been a while, no?
I have time now to write, but could not think of anything to write about. Graduation is right around the corner, sure, but I am not ready to write about that yet.
However, between the much-welcomed extra free time and the beautiful weather we had this weekend, I realize there is much to be joyful about lately. Methinks I shall present this information in list form, because that's what we analytical librarians do best!
I am joyful for:
I have time now to write, but could not think of anything to write about. Graduation is right around the corner, sure, but I am not ready to write about that yet.
However, between the much-welcomed extra free time and the beautiful weather we had this weekend, I realize there is much to be joyful about lately. Methinks I shall present this information in list form, because that's what we analytical librarians do best!
I am joyful for:
- having the apartment to myself every now and again.
- the giant, amazing-smelling lilac bush that I pass almost every day (twice!) on the way to and from work.
- the sounds that are drifting up through my open windows. Birds in the morning. People whistling and singing on their way to exciting places in the evenings. I adore the city.
- the moon.
- my girly pajama shorts that make my legs look good.
- blue nail polish.
- baseball.
- patio seating opening up at restaurants.
- all the numerous, unique ways people laugh.
- my Tom Petty station on Pandora.
- trashy romance novels (yes, Mother, I do read them. You warned me about depressing soap operas, but let me have my smutty paperbacks!).
- strawberry chocolate chip pancakes at the local diner, and served with enough butter to put down a horse.
- dancing. Anywhere and everywhere.
- two (two!) local restaurants deciding to serve gelato.
- getting to see puppy playtime at the park on the way to work in the morning.
- painfully awful puns.
- going to bed early.
- staying up late.
- sleeping in.
- waking up happy, cheerful, and grateful for what this beautiful, exquisite world will unfurl and present to me on any given day.
Monday, January 16, 2012
New Obsessions
New year. New ways to waste time.
School has not started yet, so the combination of no homework, MLK holiday, and SUPREMELY cold weather has left with me ample amount of time to not only get a lot of reading done (HOORAY!) but also poke around on the internet, which is an amazing place if you ask me. So many of my days have found me in my sun-drenched living room with a cup of tea boning up on reviews for the Caldecott contenders or perusing a fashion blog. Life is rough. The things I have found have kept me busy for hours. I don't know what I am going to do when school starts again and my evenings are filled yet again with paper writing and article reading. Don't hate.
Anyway. Here are my new favorite places on the web. You should check them out.
Anyone else know any really great, afternoon-wasting websites? Please share!
Also. In honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day, here is his last speech. What an amazing, amazing man. This speech gives me goosebumps. We have so much to learn from him.
And this: U2's Pride. Their tribute to Martin Luther King Jr. Sorry for the bad quality and ignore the french subtitles. I just thought this video had some very moving images.
Caitlin
School has not started yet, so the combination of no homework, MLK holiday, and SUPREMELY cold weather has left with me ample amount of time to not only get a lot of reading done (HOORAY!) but also poke around on the internet, which is an amazing place if you ask me. So many of my days have found me in my sun-drenched living room with a cup of tea boning up on reviews for the Caldecott contenders or perusing a fashion blog. Life is rough. The things I have found have kept me busy for hours. I don't know what I am going to do when school starts again and my evenings are filled yet again with paper writing and article reading. Don't hate.
Anyway. Here are my new favorite places on the web. You should check them out.
- BOOKS!
- Fashion and Other
Anyone else know any really great, afternoon-wasting websites? Please share!
Also. In honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day, here is his last speech. What an amazing, amazing man. This speech gives me goosebumps. We have so much to learn from him.
And this: U2's Pride. Their tribute to Martin Luther King Jr. Sorry for the bad quality and ignore the french subtitles. I just thought this video had some very moving images.
Caitlin
Friday, January 6, 2012
New Year
Well it is 2012 and the world did not end. Actually, I am surprised that this New Years did not get more hype. I almost forgot about the theory based on the Mayan calendar ending in 2012. Maybe we are all just so inundated by the gloom and doom-sayers that we just do not care. There have been a lot of them lately. Speaking of which. My dad and I were watching PBS the other day (the family that are nerds together, stay together) and there was a story on all the crazy weather that we all endured in 2011. Apparently, the average amount of "natural disasters" in a year is four or five. 2011 saw a whopping twelve! There's doomsday for you. Makes me nervous. Meanwhile, my guilt about enjoying the warm, snowless winter has increased twelve-fold.
I guess this somewhat brings me to my next point. New Year's always brings with it an urge to better myself, as it probably does for most everyone (Exhibit A: the masses at the gym). I love the idea of a bright, new year ready to be made into anything that you want. There's no old mistakes ruling your actions. Fresh. New.
I figure that based on my personality, it would be best to pick one thing to focus on in this new year. What should it be, though? I REALLY do need to exercise more. But, I loathe exercising. I really cannot wrap my head around people who love it. I have honestly tried to like it. But it really is the worst. Of course there is always the possibility to read more! My generous family overindulged the librarian this Christmas, and now I literally have books up to my elbows. However, I feel that reading is a such a part of me already that it would be cheating to make it a resolution. I received two really neat cookbooks for Christmas, so I could always work on learning how to properly feed myself (stop laughing). But we all know how that will ultimately end. Not well. Not well at all.
So what does that leave me with? I decided, after some careful thought, to work not on myself per say, but on my small corner of the world. While that does include bettering myself, I think of it more as working on the way I view people, matters, situations, etc. Growing up, my family took many cherished vacations together. We frequented many National Parks. The National Parks have a saying: "leave the park better than you found it." I think I will adapt this statement. I will work harder to be a better family member, friend, girlfriend, citizen, etc. I will make my corner better than I left it in 2011.
Prayers and hope for a peaceful, joyful, and happy 2012 for you.
I guess this somewhat brings me to my next point. New Year's always brings with it an urge to better myself, as it probably does for most everyone (Exhibit A: the masses at the gym). I love the idea of a bright, new year ready to be made into anything that you want. There's no old mistakes ruling your actions. Fresh. New.
I figure that based on my personality, it would be best to pick one thing to focus on in this new year. What should it be, though? I REALLY do need to exercise more. But, I loathe exercising. I really cannot wrap my head around people who love it. I have honestly tried to like it. But it really is the worst. Of course there is always the possibility to read more! My generous family overindulged the librarian this Christmas, and now I literally have books up to my elbows. However, I feel that reading is a such a part of me already that it would be cheating to make it a resolution. I received two really neat cookbooks for Christmas, so I could always work on learning how to properly feed myself (stop laughing). But we all know how that will ultimately end. Not well. Not well at all.
So what does that leave me with? I decided, after some careful thought, to work not on myself per say, but on my small corner of the world. While that does include bettering myself, I think of it more as working on the way I view people, matters, situations, etc. Growing up, my family took many cherished vacations together. We frequented many National Parks. The National Parks have a saying: "leave the park better than you found it." I think I will adapt this statement. I will work harder to be a better family member, friend, girlfriend, citizen, etc. I will make my corner better than I left it in 2011.
Prayers and hope for a peaceful, joyful, and happy 2012 for you.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Steaming Bowl of Crazy
Normally I like to think of myself as a pretty rational, level-headed person.
However every once in a while Volcano Caitlin erupts and spews molten dork everywhere; awkwarding up everything in its path.
Usually these incidents are directly proportional to my lack of sleep and amount of coffee used to supplement lost sleep. So then before I even know that I've opened my mouth, some innocent bystander is shouldering this hot mess. Staring blankly at me while I excitedly and wildly ramble on and on about something even I know is not interesting. These rants are never pretty and involve me making twisted, twitchy faces, giggling to myself, and saying things like: "I'm all like blargh!" "Grrr!", "Blast!", "Eee-gads!" and so forth.
Meanwhile, this person (usually a fellow student, terrified and trapped in their desk by the fact that class starts in two minutes) has come to the startling realization that it is not a mild-mannered library student seated next to them, but in actuality, the Mad Hatter.
"Ha HA! Tricked ya!" thinks I, with a slight, caffeinated eyelid twitch.
In moments like these, my self-confident, well-adjusted side (yes, I actually do have one of those) wants to believe that all that is happening here is just a matter of me being able to think really fast and I am just ten steps ahead of these goons and that they are simply stunned speechless by my wit, charm, and charisma. In actuality, I am sure they are calculating how fast they can get to the nearest exit. And I can't blame them because in my head I am fervently telling them "run! Run! I gots no off switch!"
But fear not, gentle citizens. My sweet boyfriend and very patient roommates sacrifice any sense of normalcy in their lives by letting me in and therefore seem to absorb most of my batty tendencies which placates my awkwardness making it not free to go all Godzilla on unsuspecting victims.
...most of the time.
And yes I did consult my thesaurus for all the synonyms of crazy before writing this post. Wouldn't want you all getting bored.
Until next time...watch out who you sit down next to. It might be me!
However every once in a while Volcano Caitlin erupts and spews molten dork everywhere; awkwarding up everything in its path.
Usually these incidents are directly proportional to my lack of sleep and amount of coffee used to supplement lost sleep. So then before I even know that I've opened my mouth, some innocent bystander is shouldering this hot mess. Staring blankly at me while I excitedly and wildly ramble on and on about something even I know is not interesting. These rants are never pretty and involve me making twisted, twitchy faces, giggling to myself, and saying things like: "I'm all like blargh!" "Grrr!", "Blast!", "Eee-gads!" and so forth.
Meanwhile, this person (usually a fellow student, terrified and trapped in their desk by the fact that class starts in two minutes) has come to the startling realization that it is not a mild-mannered library student seated next to them, but in actuality, the Mad Hatter.
"Ha HA! Tricked ya!" thinks I, with a slight, caffeinated eyelid twitch.
In moments like these, my self-confident, well-adjusted side (yes, I actually do have one of those) wants to believe that all that is happening here is just a matter of me being able to think really fast and I am just ten steps ahead of these goons and that they are simply stunned speechless by my wit, charm, and charisma. In actuality, I am sure they are calculating how fast they can get to the nearest exit. And I can't blame them because in my head I am fervently telling them "run! Run! I gots no off switch!"
But fear not, gentle citizens. My sweet boyfriend and very patient roommates sacrifice any sense of normalcy in their lives by letting me in and therefore seem to absorb most of my batty tendencies which placates my awkwardness making it not free to go all Godzilla on unsuspecting victims.
...most of the time.
And yes I did consult my thesaurus for all the synonyms of crazy before writing this post. Wouldn't want you all getting bored.
Until next time...watch out who you sit down next to. It might be me!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
For My Next Trick...
...I try my hand at baking.
Yesterday brought a snap to the air and that special dappled, amber sunshine that is unique to autumn. The crispy, crunchy (stole that phrase from the coffee shop around the corner) day inspired me to bake chocolate chip pumpkin bread which I do every fall (ok only for like two years).
Now. It seems to be a growing trend amongst blogsters to photograph and document every step in a recipe. I am not that talented with photography (as exhibited below) nor do I have the patience when it comes to chocolate chip pumpkin bread. Also, I don't make my own recipes. However, I did take a picture of the finale as well as attempt a fall still life. I think I should stick to baking.
Anyway. If you want to make it. here is the recipe I use.
Caveats:
Happy autumn! And happy eating! Love, Caitlin
P.S. the book leaning against the sunflowers is This Book is Overdue! How Librarians and Cybrarians Can Save Us All by Marilyn Johnson.
You know, in case you were curious.
Yesterday brought a snap to the air and that special dappled, amber sunshine that is unique to autumn. The crispy, crunchy (stole that phrase from the coffee shop around the corner) day inspired me to bake chocolate chip pumpkin bread which I do every fall (ok only for like two years).
Now. It seems to be a growing trend amongst blogsters to photograph and document every step in a recipe. I am not that talented with photography (as exhibited below) nor do I have the patience when it comes to chocolate chip pumpkin bread. Also, I don't make my own recipes. However, I did take a picture of the finale as well as attempt a fall still life. I think I should stick to baking.
Anyway. If you want to make it. here is the recipe I use.
Caveats:
- I don't use the whole wheat flour (who wants to make things healthier anyway? Come on.). I just do three cups of regular flour.
- This recipe makes muffins, which are delicious. I did not have muffin tins in my apartment so I substituted and made two 9x5 bread loafs. If you choose to do this, just leave them in for longer. I would say...until they look done. Ha!
 |
| et voila! Zi finished product! |
 | |
| My (lousy) attempt at a still life. I apologize for making your eyes burn. |
P.S. the book leaning against the sunflowers is This Book is Overdue! How Librarians and Cybrarians Can Save Us All by Marilyn Johnson.
You know, in case you were curious.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
I'm back!!
Hello darling readers!
I took a break over the summer (and then some) to spend time with family, be a social, urbanite with friends, and canoodle with le boyfriend! And let me tell you, it was so therapeutic!
Here is a quick update:
-I am living in a quaint little suburb of Boston in a very cozy apartment. It is super close to school and even closer to my work as well as the libraries in my life. The neighborhood is so great. Grocery store is a 7 minute walk, Trader Joe's is a 10 min walk, there's a new church I have been going to that is a 9 minute walk. Plus, there is an AMAZING diner down the street that serves breakfast all day long and has chocolate chip pancakes that I would sell a kidney for.
-I am living with two beautiful, patient, and very understanding roommates (you would have to be to live with me). They are a blast to live with! Good times.
-I began my second and final year in graduate school. EEEK! Simultaneously terrified for the real world and excited to be done with forum discussions and papers.
...and that about covers the big stuff, I suppose.
I am taking a Young Adult Literature class, which I will probably be talking about quite a bit. I am really enjoying it. The reading is outstanding. Outstanding meaning boat-load in this scenario.But I love it. I wish it was the only class I was taking so I could give more time to it. To give you a taste, here is my reading list for the next couple of weeks:
And in list form (starting from the top):
Well instead of blathering about it, I guess I should maybe actually work on chipping away at this mountain.
I took a break over the summer (and then some) to spend time with family, be a social, urbanite with friends, and canoodle with le boyfriend! And let me tell you, it was so therapeutic!
Here is a quick update:
-I am living in a quaint little suburb of Boston in a very cozy apartment. It is super close to school and even closer to my work as well as the libraries in my life. The neighborhood is so great. Grocery store is a 7 minute walk, Trader Joe's is a 10 min walk, there's a new church I have been going to that is a 9 minute walk. Plus, there is an AMAZING diner down the street that serves breakfast all day long and has chocolate chip pancakes that I would sell a kidney for.
-I am living with two beautiful, patient, and very understanding roommates (you would have to be to live with me). They are a blast to live with! Good times.
-I began my second and final year in graduate school. EEEK! Simultaneously terrified for the real world and excited to be done with forum discussions and papers.
...and that about covers the big stuff, I suppose.
I am taking a Young Adult Literature class, which I will probably be talking about quite a bit. I am really enjoying it. The reading is outstanding. Outstanding meaning boat-load in this scenario.But I love it. I wish it was the only class I was taking so I could give more time to it. To give you a taste, here is my reading list for the next couple of weeks:
And in list form (starting from the top):
- Big Mouth, Ugly Girl by Joyce Carol Oates
- Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater
- Feed by M.T. Anderson
- The Silver Kiss by Annette Curtis Klause
- City of Orphans by Avi
- The Tea Rose by Jennifer Donnelly
- The Arrival by Shaun Tan
Well instead of blathering about it, I guess I should maybe actually work on chipping away at this mountain.
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